I thought about this while reading the 'carry issues' thread but didn't want to hijack that thread so I thought I'd post a new topic. We've probably all been there, you're out in public with either family or close friends (who know you carry) and one of them says out loud, "Hey, are you packing today?" How do you deal with that? What do you say? Or, do you just ignore them? I've found that it tends to be less of a problem the longer you carry since the novelty of it (for them) seems to wear off and they don't keep asking. But, it can be very uncomfortable when it does happen in public with other people within ear-shot. I usually just half ignore them and role my eyes or just give them a stern look to show them I'm unhappy with them and move on without saying anything. Afterword, if I can get them alone I will quietly ask them in the future not to ask me that especially in public. I remember one incident when a bunch of family members and I had met at a downtown Minneapolis restaurant for a birthday or something. After eating, several of us went on to Game Works on Hennepin Ave. I believe it was posted and as we were walking in (with other people around us) one of my family members who must have noticed the sign says, "You aren't packing now are you?" I've even had family members say while out to eat in public (at the table) , "Have you got your gun on you?" in full voice. Do other people find this to be a problem and if so, how do you deal with it?

Edit: I just realized this was in Minnesota Carry Issues and maybe should have been in General. Mods, please feel free to move if need be.

I've tried to be pro-active in only telling people who either carry themselves or can appreciate the necessity of not broadcasting my status in public that I have my carry permit. My wife came up with a coded way of asking me in public. She asks if I have my "briefcase". I don't know if I will ever tell my extended family that I carry, because they are pretty anti. I do carry when I visit them, but I am extra careful about concealment.

Folks that know me well enough to know I carry, wouldn't ask the question because they'd know unless I am going dirrectly to or dirrectly from a forbidden (courthouse/ federal property/ airport security area) zone . . . I am armed. It'd be like asking a devout Moslem if he's bowwed toward Mecca today or asking someone in a UPS uniform if they have seen any boxes today.

Conversely, I don't think anybody who doesn't know me well enough to know I carry, would ask the question. I don't open carry much & if I do, it isn't usually around casual aquaintences (the setting I most often open carry in, is pushing my baby's stroller 'round the 'hood). We keep to ourselves, don't socialize with people in the neighborhood.

I would privately have have a conversation with this person and let them know how I felt about them outing me, and advise them if they value my company not to do it again.

I personally don't let anyone know I carry unless I believe they are capable of exercising adequate discretion.

On the very rare occasion some family member has asked they have done so discretely, never yelling it out where others can hear. Other than that I have been asked in class which is a good lead into holsters and carry methods.

The last time I was asked, I said "I don't usually tell."

At which they immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was not.

Which was fine. They had no need to know.

LOL, how's this for an answer.....it depends.

If we're in a situation that allows me to discreetly pull that person aside and beat them over the head with a raw fish, then I do. Otherwise I'm trying to perfect "the look" that my girlfriend gives me occasionally that lets me know I just did something wrong.

With family and close friends, I'll be honest. But typically they either don't ask, or in the rare occasions that they do, they do it in a very non-intrusive discreet fashion. And if I'm in a particularly evil mood and a casual acquaintance asks, I'll respond, "You've never seen me NOT carrying". And then I get the pleasure of watching their reaction as they recall the times they've seen me.

For most people it's probably just best that people don't know you have a carry permit. However, I know I, and I assume many of you are the same, are very vocal about educating people on carry permits and encouraging interest in firearms in general. So it's almost an open secret amongst the people I know.

I was at a birthday dinner at a nice quiet restaurant for my sisters birthday. When her father in law yells from the other end of the table "Are you carrying your gun today?" I could see people at other tables turn and look. So I just said, na not today. Everyone continued talking and going on with the party but it was at that moment that I decided to quite telling people including family.

"Nope. Sold the gun and looking for another"

"Aren't you?"

My wife likes to play "see where I'm carrying" with a quick patdown as we leave, or asking as we go out the door. I tell her that if it's legal, I'm packing. Unless I'm open carrying, that's it. I'm more worried about my son spilling the beans, he's only 5 and occasionally figures out I've gone a gun "in case we meet bad guys."

Most people who know me, have never seen me when i was not carrying, When it comes up, usually because I am a bit casual about concealed, and if my shirt hangs up or what ever, and they say what's that, I just say, "you have never seen me without it." and then if they don't get that, say, "every time you have ever seen me, its been there, you just have not known" and that for some reason settles them down.

Most people I know also know that "if it's legal i'm packing" so they just don't ask. I do a decent job of concealment so unless I get a hug, nobody would know. Having a big gut makes it easy in IWB, even for a full size auto. Have only been asked once by someone I didn't know and that was from an off duty LEo who was attending the same function I was at. We had a great conversation.

If someone asks, "Are you carrying a firearm?" my response is "Are you a law enforcement officer?" If they answer "Yes", I answer truthfully, as required of a permit holder. (I may ask for their LEO identification.) If they answer "No", I ignor the question or answer "No" (whether I am carrying or not).

Nobody has ever asked me, except my wife.

Maybe because she's the only one who knows, outside of people I've met at the Gopher Bar.

I've used the, "Can you see one?", to answer the question with a question. I pick the line up here, but I don't remember who to credit. The response has always been been something similar to, "Like I'd be able to tell". Then I just shrug my shoulders and the conversation always went on to something else. It's worked so far anyway.