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 Actual lock-shooting story 
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 Post subject: Actual lock-shooting story
PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 9:18 pm 
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Inspired by the other lock-shooting story, I just had to share.

Now this I admit is a tale of something that happened not only 30 or more years ago, but that I only heard of at third hand. Still, it’s probably true in its essentials, since every member of my former wife’s family told the same story, the only difference between them and me being that they didn’t think it was funny.

Anyway: My then-teenaged-niece-in-law, Louise, sweet but dumb, was married to a teenaged cipher, Randy, whose only demonstrated talent was for leaning out the passenger-side window of a truck and knocking down mailboxes with a baseball bat. They lived in a trailer park near Mora. Randy and his buddies felt that they could all use some big money, and they hit upon a plan to put themselves on Easy Street for a week. They would burgle a certain VFW hall out in the country. (Had there been any international jewel collections in town, they would have done a big “Ocean’s 11” style heist, but the VFW was all there was.)

They all sat around one night drinking beer and chasers, waiting up late to be sure nobody was around, which is the way all quality burglars prepare themselves for a big score. Then they headed out to the VFW hall about 3 a.m. and broke in, triggering a silent alarm, unbeknownst to them. Randy had brought along a .30-30, not because they expected to encounter any resistance, but just because bringing a gun is what you do when you’ve hit the big time and are pulling a major heist.

Sadly for their plans, the cash box was empty. However, there was a locked liquor cabinet, and they were all thirsty. They could have simply pried the lock off, but Randy had a better idea. He said, “Stand back!” and shot at the lock with the rifle. The bullet hit the lock, but the effect was something like a fragmentation grenade. Glass shattered, sending shards in all directions, and Randy dropped the rifle and fell to the floor, hit in the leg with a major fragment from the bullet.

His cohorts didn’t know what to do – whether to leave him behind and “go for help,” (which would probably have meant just leaving him behind) or to drag Randy to the truck. The arrival of an officer from the Kanabec County sheriff’s department settled the issue, and Randy was taken to a hospital, where he made a rapid recovery. He did some hard time for the caper, since he had some priors.

As far as I could find out by quizzing my then in-laws, the lock was not opened by the shot. But I don’t think their interests lay in that direction. I think they were just happy that Randy would not be impregnating sweet young Louise for the next three to five years.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:11 am 
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THAT'S A GREAT STORY. :lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:55 am 
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Thanks. It's a treasured memory.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 11:00 am 
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Also, note how bringing the gun upped a simple Breaking and Entering to . . . whatever it's called when a gun is used in the commission of a crime and injuring somebody with it.

Possibly the judge took into account the fact that the injured person was also the halfwit firing the gun.

Does anybody else love stupid criminals as much as me?

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 Post subject: Re: Actual lock-shooting story
PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 11:38 am 
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Dave Matheny wrote:
... Randy had brought along a .30-30, not because they expected to encounter any resistance, but just because bringing a gun is what you do when you’ve hit the big time and are pulling a major heist.

hilarious.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 12:12 pm 
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I love a good story. This was certainly that. Thanks for sharing.

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