I'm sure that this has been covered before, but I couldn't find anything with the search button.
My wife took a carry class with me sitting in (that's a story for another day!!) about nine months ago. I could never get her to go down to the sheriff's office and pay the $100 for the permit fee.
To my surprise, when I came home from work the other day, she greeted me at the door with her receipt from turning in her paperwork!
Now I'm trying to find a carry weapon that she would be comfortable with.
She is VERY recoil sensitive. She is perfectly fine shooting a .22 pistol, but moving up to my 9mil is way too much. I have let her shoot my Kel-tec 3AT, but I beleive the fram is too light and she didn't like that at all. She has also fired my .38 snubbie but no go.
I'm thinking maybe something in .380 but with a larger frame than the 3AT.
I would even be willing to go down to a .32, just to get her used to shooting something center-fire.
Anyone have a similar problem, or any suggestions on models to try?
My only requirement is that it is something common enought that we could rent one at Bill's or Ahlmen's so that she could try it first.
Thanks for any suggestions.
CB

Couple of suggestions.

1. Kel-tec P32 with a 10 round mag instead of 7 rounder. Easy to shoot and full size grip for a mouse gun.
2. Bersa Thunder 380 or CC model would be a good 380.
3. An all steel J-frame 36 or 60 or 640 or Taurus 605.

Also go to a couple of gun shows because they have this big room with a touch and feel various guns.

Hope this helps.

My sweet petite spouse likes her Lady Smith with the trigger tweaked down to 8 lbs.

Why is the nine mill too much for her? My wife carries a 1911 lightweight commander with 185 jhp's in it.
I have taught several women to shoot with nines, 40's and a couple with .45's despite prevailing thought most women can handle handguns of a larger size that many men will admit.

Try the coke can experiment. Get a sharpie pen and a pop can. Hold it in you hand and see how far apart your thumb and forefinger are. Now have your wife do the same test. Often became women have less meat on their hands to open up the radius, they actually have a longer reach

Don't make the common mistake of picking guns for her.

i shall only relate an anecdote about my wife and her two daughters when they picked out their carry guns. i do not have nearly the wide experience of others on this forum who have handled mny different handguns.
my wife began carrying my walther ppks which was ok with me since i was able to get a new cg, a taurus pt-140. she liked the walther and it has never caused us any problems since i bought it in 1985 (just don't use underpowered ammo in it).
she went to the range with me and we were shooting several of our handguns and then went upstairs to look at others. she was wanting to get something bigger than the .380. she had shot my pt-140 and liked it alot. after picking up several i could see on her face she wasn't very satisfied. in response to my question, "what's wrong?", she replied, "i like your's." at that moment i knew i had "lost" my pt-140. btw, she did this same thing to me when she got her first motorcycle. it is ok, though. i got a new bike and a new carry gun out of the deal and she is still the best woman in the world for me.
after the twins (her daughters) obtained their carry permits, i gave them the money to get their own handguns. i gave them the option to get whatever they wanted. they went through the same routine their mother did and both opted for the pt-140. i think it is fair to say they both exemplify the saying, "like mother, like daughter", albeit, they chose a .40 cal. and a nice pistol with a good carry size for a woman (or a man for tht matter; i carried the pt for almost two years). they are all about 5'9-10" and nice sized, not small but definitely not big either. they are all above average atheletically. for them, the .40 is totally acceptable and not harsh at all.
i'm not pushing a .40. i'm saying there are several nice sized guns in larger calibers that women like and do not cause recoil problems for them. i concur with 1911fan on this one.
p.s. - the pt series also has .380 cal. offerings.
i would like to know what she eventually ends up with.

Srigs already mentioned the smaller calibers and it's a good list. You might have her rent and try the PP/S which it the new slim Walther. The ergonomics on that one are very good.

Is it the weight of the gun, the recoil "feel", or something else that makes the 9mm too much?

You might try the .40 anyway or a big steel framed .45 <- sounds crazy, right? Here's the thought process: Each cartridge and gun has a different recoil "Feel". for me, the 9mm is way too snappy, not too much push, just a lot of snap. I can shoot it and DO for economy sake but the .40 has more of a "push" feel. the .45 for me and a couple female shooters I know has a stout recoil but it's all a push and over a longer period of time. Changes the "feel"

You might also pay careful attention to grip, stance, etc as those can have huge effects in managing recoil.

If none of that works, I've heard good things about the Bersa. Walther is coming out with a P-380 and Sig has a P238 which is similar to the old Colt Mustang.

Here's the biggest issue I see:



Let her own the selection process. Be supportive and help if asked, but unless she owns the decision, she probably won't get much more comfortable.

Andrew occasionally has a good idea

My Step Mom has some arthritis issues, grip strength, shoulder strength, and etc issues. This makes her recoil sensitive but also sensitive to the weight of the gun. For her, the answer was an airweight S&W in .22LR. She practices a lot, enjoys it, and the matching revolver in 38/357 at home will function almost identically if she should ever need it.

But then she's not really heading for Carry.

How about Low Recoil .38's?

+1

This may help too: Handguns for Handicapped and Very Recoil Sensitive Shooters

My wife shot a Bersa Thunder in 380 (with mag 5-finger grip extension), a Ruger LCP in 380, and a 4" 1911 in 45 a few weeks ago.

The recoil on the 380s felt worse (to her) than on the 1911.

You and your wife may want to talk about how she is planning to carry the firearm, because the method of carry will limit the size, and the size will limit the choices.

though it's first gen tech, Charter Arms has a CARR (Charter Arms Rimless REvolver) coming. Shoots 9mm without moon clips in a revolver. That might mean .380 and 9mm from the same revolver ...

In pursuit of simplicity, I'd recommend trying something like the S&W 640 (or 642 if it's going to be carried) and start out with very light 38 loads and then maybe work up from there, once she gets more comfortable.

No controls, safeties, ammunition sensitivity and no clearing drills.

S&W...the original point and click interface!

There are also a TON of different grips available for the S&W J-frames.

I have a 640-1 and 3 sets of grips. PM me and you are welcome to try them sometime if you think it's an option.

After shooting about eight or nine guns at the spring and fall Shooter Show at Bill's last year, my wife decided to go with the Sig P232 .380. She tried out guns in .380, 9MM, .40 and .45 and decided her first priority was ease of concealment and second was how it felt in her hand. Recoil is not as big of a concern for her, as she enjoys shooting all of the larger calibers and can handle most full size guns on the range just fine.

On a side note, She wil be taking her PTC class with Paul Horvick on February 14th!

I have gone through this process on four separate occasions with my loving, devoted, wife. To distill it down quickly, the 3AT has far too much recoil for her. The PT111 was not to her liking, although we did buy a pair.

She ended up with a Taurus M65 4" wheel gun. She doesn't have to worry about all that "mechanicky" stuff as she does with semi-autos, it has easily handled recoil with standard .38 loads, and most importantly, it was her choice and she is comfortable with it.