Now I know why some species of animals kill their young.

My 21 year old daughter moved back home yesterday (broke up with her worthless b/f).

We (wife & I), of course, set 'ground rules'.

Of course, she isn't listening.

I just repo'd her house key and gave her '30 days' to GTFO!

I have 2 girls, both in their middle 30"s, and a couple of grand kids to boot. They are in, out, in, out, on and on

We could commiserate Heartfelt sympathies

Been there, done that, finally they are both out and married etc etc. Boomerang kids are becoming the norm.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick. Turn them all into sticks

And if that doesn't work, beat them with one until they stay away.

Been there. Done that. Consequently you have my sympathies.

I found, for me, that the only real way to get peace and to retain any semblence of order was to turn my back completely.

Things have changed.

At 18, I walked out the door and never returned except for Christmas holidays and my (working) summers.

At 22, we got married and promptly drove 1000 miles away. We never again lived closer than that to either set of parents. We returned only for 1 holiday (per set of parents) a year. Neither of us would ever have moved back into our parent's home.

It worked for 41 years until the last of them died. They were always happy to see us, we were always happy to leave.

be careful though - if you live in Burnsville and have fledgelings in the nest and you cause any trouble - they'll shoot you!


(check the Strib for the stories on the hawks lately if you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about...)

It is interesting to hear perspectives from the other end of the telescope. I have a 5 month old at home, and have been doing some reading. I just started John Rosemond's Parent Power!, and he says (I'm paraphrasing very loosely) that the central role of parenting is to kick the kids out and have them succeed as adults! Decisions should be made having that goal in mind.

Hope it all works out for you.

Rosemond's books are awesome. I used to follow his column in the Duluth paper when we were up there. Good stuff.

Does it count if my family moved in with my in-laws for three months while we looked for a house down here? Three long LONG months...
That was three years ago, and I still shudder.

Some years back a friend of mine told me that my wife and I should take assumed names, secretly move away in the middle of the night, and leave no forwarding address. There are days I wish I would have taken that advice.

The closest I've come is moving my MIL is with us after she broke her hip. It took a year to get her out. Never again.

The wife and I just recently became empty nesters. It this what we have to look forward to?

I beleive it may have had the original source of Ann Landers, but I'll credit my dad.
If you have trouble in your Marriage, and go Running home to mother, her Job is to Throw you out the following morning, and say somthing like "You made your bed, Now go sleep in it".
I beleive the underlying message is "As you parents, we are not going to be "Enablers" to your problems. If you find yourself on the street, it's not our problem . . . You go work on it". We all have problems from time to time, you made a commitment, now go work it out. We are not going to be your Crutch.
As for an 18 year old, (who Certainly know Everything at that age), the laws of average says they will be home within 6 months of the first time they leave home. In that 6 month span, they will learn how little they know about the real world. Those come back sometimes a second time but not often.
I got around the problem by never having any children.

Steve

Our youngest and last at home is making plans to move out so, but I don't think he will be coming back all that soon. He just signed his next 6 years over to the US Navy.

Gonna kinda miss his jamming on his guitar.

I'm 24, moved out just after my 20th, moved in with my aunt for 6 months due to college campus. (Bachelor's was to be taken at Brown's main campus by the airport, not their satellite campus in Brooklyn Center) - moved when I found a job in Minneapolis. Now in Elk River with brother, until I find a job that needs me elsewhere. Offer stands for me to move home, but I'm making it my goal to never have to do that.

Making good friends with folks who'll let you room with them, is always useful too. Offer that as a suggestion. Time for them to make some real friends, who DO help. If/when I move out of here, I'll be getting a cheap, safe studio or 1-bedroom apartment.

I've also made the personal call, that I won't consider dating anyone who hasn't lived out on their own (or at least away from their parent's, besides college dorm room) - as they don't have any clue what it's like to be "on your own."

I may be unemployed, but I'm not crawling back. I'm using it as further leverage to pull myself up, as it encourages me further.