-- Wayne LaPierre - Executive Vice President of The NRA --

You know the saying, "If you make something idiot-proof, someone will just build a better idiot"? I have a feeling some of those "better idiots" are now in charge of the War on Knives in England.

Of course these are some of the same people that brought us England's "War on Guns," which led to the banning of semi-automatic firearms and a complete ban on handguns more than a decade ago. Since then, England's crime rate has continued to spiral out of control, and illegal gun use has increased as well. Since guns are already banned, however, the Brits needed to ban a new item. They came up with pizza cutters.

Okay, they came up with a war on knives, but since pizza cutters have a blade, they're covered under the tough anti-knife laws in place. That's why when 28-year-old Jenny Palmer recently tried to buy a pizza cutter from the department store Marks and Spencer, she was asked for ID.

A spokesman for Marks and Spencer told the Telegraph newspaper, "Our policy is not to sell knives or bladed articles to persons under 18, and a pizza wheel fits into to that category. We are a responsible retailer, and our customers expect us to be vigilant in providing blades if people appear to be underage."

Meanwhile, a government report indicates that homicides involving blades actually increased in the ten cities targeted for a crackdown on knife crime. It looks like the War on Knives has been as successful as the War on Guns. No wonder the Guardian newspaper calls the new report a "severe embarrassment." I'm guessing Jenny Palmer would agree.

Maybe I'm just twisted.

First thing I thought was, "Man, those British thugs are mean: FIRST they stomp you flat, THEN cut you up."

"Robbed, and assaulted with a Pizza cutter"

Next England will enact that only individual SLICES of pizza can be imported into the country...