Index  •  FAQ  •  Search  

It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 3:04 am

This is a static archive the Twin Cities Carry forum, maintained as a public service by the current forum of record, The Minnesota Carry Forum.

All times are UTC - 6 hours




Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 2 posts ] 
 So guns cause crime, right? 
Author Message
 Post subject: So guns cause crime, right?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:55 am 
Longtime Regular
User avatar

Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:24 am
Posts: 6767
Location: Twin Cities
From Mark Clifton, a science fiction writer (1906-1963):



Quote:
The Dread Tomato Addiction
by Mark Clifton

Ninety-two point four per cent of juvenile delinquents have eaten tomatoes.

Eighty-seven point one per cent of the adult criminals in penitentiaries throughout the United State have
eaten tomatoes.

Informers reliably inform that of all known American Communists, ninety-two point three per cent have
eaten tomatoes.

Eighty-four per cent of all people killed in automobile accidents during the year 1954 had eaten
tomatoes.

Those who object to singling out specific groups for statistical proofs require measurements within a total.
Of those people born before the year 1800, regardless of race, color, creed or caste, and known to have
eaten tomatoes, there has been one hundred per cent mortality!

In spite of their dread addiction, a few tomato eaters born between 1800 and 1850 still manage to
survive, but the clinical picture is poor—their bones are brittle, their movements feeble, their skin seamed
and wrinkled, their eyesight failing, hair falling, and frequently they have lost all their teeth.

Those born between 1850 and 1900 number somewhat more survivors, but the overt signs of the
addiction's dread effects differ not in kind but only in degree of deterioration. Prognostication is not
hopeful.

Exhaustive experiment shows that when tomatoes are withheld from an addict, invariably his cravings will
cause him to turn to substitutes—such as oranges, or steak and potatoes. If both tomatoes and all
substitutes are persistently withheld—death invariably results within a short time!

The skeptic of apocryphal statistics, or the stubborn nonconformist who will not accept the clearly
proved conclusions of others may conduct his own experiment.

Obtain two dozen tomatoes—they may actually be purchased within a block of some high schools, or
discovered growing in a respected neighbor's back yard!—crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they
would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish
therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!

Those who argue that what affects a goldfish might not apply to a human being may, at their own choice,
wish to conduct a direct experiment by fully immersing a live human head* into the mixture for a full five
minutes.


----------------------
* It is suggested that best results will be obtained by using an experimental subject who is thoroughly
familiar with and frequently uses the logic methods demonstrated herein, such as:

(a) The average politician. Extremely unavailable to the average citizen except during the short open
season before election.

(b) The advertising copywriter. Extremely wary and hard to catch due to his experience with many
lawsuits for fraudulant claims.(c) The dedicated moralist. Extremely plentiful in supply, and the experimenter might even obtain a
bounty on each from a grateful community.

_________________
* NRA, UT, MADFI certified Minnesota Permit to Carry instructor, and one of 66,513 law-abiding permit holders. Read my blog.


Offline
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: So guns cause crime, right?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:35 pm 
Longtime Regular
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:57 am
Posts: 818
Location: Apple Valley, MN
LOL :lol:

_________________
http://www.eckernet.com
My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.


Offline
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 2 posts ] 

This is a static archive the Twin Cities Carry forum, maintained as a public service by the current forum of record, The Minnesota Carry Forum.

All times are UTC - 6 hours


 Who is online 

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 35 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron


 
Index  |  FAQ  |  Search

phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group